HOW TO MURDER THE SUPER SCARY HIGH INTEREST PREDATORY STUDENT THAT HAVE SADDLED AN ENTIRE GENERATION WITH SO MUCH DEBT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO BUY A HOUSE OR HAVE KIDS, or, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STOP BUYING AVOCADO TOAST?

3F, 4M - Full Length - 100 min.

An out-of-work retail worker agrees to become an assassin and "take out" a disgusting blackmailer in order to pay off her overwhelming student loans and start a new life, despite the fact she has absolutely no idea what she's doing and is probably the worst person possible for this job.

CHARACTERS

MICHELLE - 20’s-30’s, she/her, BIPOC.

BRETT - 20’s-30’s, he/him, probably White.

THE HOLY TERROR - teen, he/him.

CAL/JAMES/NOEL - 20’s-30’s, he/him.

SCORCH/DR. FISHBURN - 20’s, he/him.

BUNNY/KLAUDINE/CANDY STRIPER/CAROL - 20’s, she/her.

ROBIN/NURSE/GHOST OF CAL’S MUMMY - 20’s, she/her.

Development History

  • Finalist & Winner - Bramble Theatre Company’s Festival of Unfinished Work (2022)

  • Public Reading - Bramble Theatre Company (2022)

  • Workshop - Bramble Theatre Company (2022)